Who is the driving force behind our actions? Who do we let take control of our lives, and are we even really aware of it? You see yourself in this position of disempowerment. You blame others around you for your lack, whatever that may be, skills, love, attention. You see them as holding you down, keeping your head underwater and with their constant grasp there is no chance for you to get air. You become critical of yourself and you look in the mirror and your mind speaks as though you are them, you are not pretty, not smart, not good enough. Then your mind turns on the record that has played for so long and you hear, if only you lost weight, you would be pretty, someone would love you, etc. Your life would be perfect. It is time to step out of this disillusionment and wake up from this dream, to state it more fittingly would be this nightmare.
The truth of this matter is that you have handed over your power on a platter to a foe that is not even the one that you believe it to be in this life. The one that you attribute all of your qualms to is not the one terrorizing you in actuality. When you gorge yourself on cookies until you feel sick or deny yourself a single meal during the day. When you critique every square inch of your being, or cry yourself to sleep with a pain so deep inside of your heart that your soul bleeds. it is not your ex-lover or office foe that has brought this pain on you. You may be surprised to hear the answer of who torments you and you may not want to acknowledge it, yet. For it will require change on your part. A change that may feel unnatural and feel contrary to what you want to do right now.
You sold your sold to the devil so to speak and you are stuck in a revolving door of anguish and misery. It is time to buy back your soul. To me, when I hear that phrase, sold your soul to the Devil it truly means you have become disconnected from all love of yourself. In the spiritual sense things are never sold, they are only given because there is no such thing as monetary exchange, there is only free energy exchange. There is never a time in eternity when it is too late maneuver the flow of energy in a different direction. Free will always rules, let this be the time when you use yours to change your flow of energy. Instead of allowing yourself to torment you, it is time to acknowledge your role in this and reconnect with your soul in love. In loving yourself. When someone is unkind to you, you are always in choice to reject the negative energy they are projecting on you. You must be vigilant at times, at times when we are disconnected from our spiritual selves, from our soul, it is easy to get caught in a cycle of negativity. You accept one act on negativity on yourself and you magnify it and replay it over and over again. It’s a rabbit hole that is so deep, dark and convoluted that intense drive and clarity of mind is needed to pull yourself from it’s grasp.
May the droplets of light and love created from the Divine put inside of you be remembered. Your greatest challenge in this life may be to take hold of your power, control of your own being and stop this cycle of violence against yourself. If you are at this threshold in life, take a moment out of the cycle and reject your own acts of violence and negativity against yourself. It serves no purpose to punish yourself. Use your grief to grow and become a brighter star, learn from your mistakes but never, never sell your soul to the devil.